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bwfffff........ hahahahaha [12 Sep 2009|12:23am] Was it really that long since I wrote on Livejournal. hahaaaaaahahahah! It is so funny reading the old passages and now I wondered why I thought that way. I wanted to delete it but on the second thought I can see my mind developing XD.... interesting.

It have already been 2009 [29 May 2009|11:42pm] [ mood | discontent ] [ music | Elliot Yamin - Fight for Love ] While reading back the old passage I read, I thought myself as an amateur. Loving, having friends, and the changes that have been made. Not only me but the world as well. There are still changes that are not made such as "I am still working at Burger King" One or two years ago, I planned to work somewhere else or a better job. But due to this economy crisis, finding another job was very difficult and hope it won't get worser. Speaking of the present, I am about to graduate next month and soon friend would be leaving such as Css, my best buddy I could ever have. Many things happen, for example: she has a boyfriend and at first I tried to pursue to break up with him due to the bad background of him. Yet, I passed because friendship can't break love and I learned something "Never tell your friends or what so ever to breaking with their partner" Nothing good really happens. Just encourage them that it will be alright. This problem made or friendship a little awkward and stronger I hope. I will always love her like friends should do. It did bother me, but as I started to think different. Even though the appearance, does not show, but I could feel it. I am a different person and still naive, under certain circumferences. I use to believe certain people are bad but Css taught me that it is not true. I finally learned that you can NOT judge the person by their appearances. Maybe I still do in my mind with the fashion even though I am not up to date as well. Weird but that is me. I been thinking about and I tried not to. As I was sitting in the car waiting for my mom, I passed by many phone numbers. Still I couldn't find someone to call and talk about things like you know emo things, funny things etc. The only person was Css, but she had a boyfriend to accompany her, so I might as well hang up or sooner or later. This gives a good example of future friends having husbands. Yea, I felt lonely and thought I should get a boyfriend and a second thought, it wasn't a good idea. It will ruin me. I have a lot in mind. Trying to pursue my mom letting me take art major and hoping she will pay but it didn't work. Therefore, I must get a degree on whatever she wants and save money to go to top art schools. ^^'''' I think I can do it I will and I have the confidence but I will have to take a couple of years. Maybe it would change and I will never know. Secondly, I browsed through Mr. Snob, my ex-crush, site and saw him changing slowly. Sometimes, I feel that I will forget him and as long I am watching him doing well I would be. The situation is different, I thought I was able to forget him but I wasn't sometimes my emotions ache. Maybe it is some kind of sickness. lol I know that couldn't be. I will soon find the answer someday. Third, class of 2009 are graduating and leaving which means I am going to miss everyone that are leaving. Really I will miss them. I hope for the best for everyone. I hope.. oh my art improved and i am able to sell 3 art pieces maybe (they were requested) good luck for me. ^^ Time to go to Bed! Good Nights! Talk to you next time, if I ever write again maybe months later. Thank You whoever reads the nonsense emoness.

This Week [03 Aug 2008|01:02am] Apparently, my week has gone by smoothly and it is nothing important in particular. At work was pretty interest and wonderful moments, since I am starting to get along with my awesome manager, who goof around here and then, including my co-workers. There awesome people and amazingly I tried the drive thru *speaking in to the people in the car*. Actually, I kept saying "welcome to BK , how may I take you order *twice*?" and the customer didn't hear me. The manager was like "SPEAK LOUDER, They can't hear you" the people in the kitchen is like ohhh~~~ PAL is on drive thru *chuckles*. I admit was kind of nervous and compared to the others. XD The timer is red! oh nyuu~hahah fun fun fun.... i guess... time goes by fast and it does..... I love Peggy, Julie*missing for a couple of days*, Yadira, Dulce, ... and other people names, which I forgot. haha ^^'' Being helpful is nice and I like that. Sadly, my mom's old friend needed help with finding a job and she kept looking for me the past 4 days in a row. I kind of tired of her. I help her applied at 3 companies and I even helped you print out a map. I can't believe she couldn't define the words herself and relying on me to translate to her in Chinese >..> lazy~~~ but anyway mom kept saying it is good to help other and she is old, no harm helping her. Well, that isn't the main point. The main point is after I went to chinese school, I went to Jessica's home to study for SAT's..... >.> THe exciting part was I get to borrow mom's to drive there. Althought the trip only took like 5 minutes or less. I was proud to drive there. I was so worried at first because Jessica's apartment had gates and I couldn't get through. But luckily, there was a nice handsome guy xD who helped me open the gates. *I actually saw him pressing the remote for me and it opened* I waved to show him my gratitude. I was saved.... yay~ I went to Jessica's apartment and started to review. While she did the math, I review the words she had already written on flashcards. I truly say, it does help. Now, I have to make my own and it takes a lot of time, which gets me tiring. Alright after I KIND of taught her how to parallel park, since she is going to take the driving test this mid August. >:D oh i also, at gimshi at her house. It was sure tasty. Getting Late ,,, Main part tommorrow~

Pause [27 Jul 2008|12:07am] It has been a while since I wrote a long passage. Although no one really reads this, I am still going to continue writing until one day I forget to. Today is Saturday :D.... >>..>>'' I been working from Tuesday to Friday. ;/ I was tired and didn't want to do anything but sit in front of the computer. I have lots of things to do. But I didn't do it because I was LAZY. It is bad being lazy. I know, it will kill me if I am lazy. I only have a few weeks to do my Cal hw packet and review for SAT Subject test and Reasoning Test. Aww~ But right now I don't feel like doing anything. I used my whole day to help my mom's old friend to apply for a job. She has a sad story and I don't feel like writing it out because it is shame and something else. haha~~~~~~~ trying to be hilarious. But I guess it isn't going to work. :I but anyway xD~ But really I am not in the mood. It has been 53 days I seen Mr. Snob. I am yearning for you and I doubt it. I will continue~ I don't know, my life is being meaningless. I was thinking I would have no more worries after I finished all my proficiency tests. But I have SAT's to worry about. Big Deal! what now I have to study but I can't arrrr..... bye i am emo clueless w/e

Work Work Work [24 Jul 2008|12:11am] Work is like a routine. I do the same things everyday and it is boring. Today was fun um... yea don't feel like writing. xDD~~~

Continued Life [21 Jul 2008|11:43pm] [ mood | busy ] [ music | Sum 41- with me ] (Sorry, I didn't check for grammar because I was in a rush) I am tired of typing such detailed journals so, I decided to be straight forward. Since, I had so many things to write and remember.haha~ I had thought of many things and I admitted that I became emotional, which wasted a lot of time. It is silly, I cried. I just felt sad or you can say foolish. I know I was listening to some sad songs that suited my feelings and started crying. I cried for a lot of things, I know I am an idiot who cries for stupid things. I cried for grandpa who was gone and I missed him, dread tears for Mr. Snob, who I couldn't keep up with at all, cried for not studying hard enough, cried for wasting money, and cried for such nonsense thought I fell for that I know that won't come true. Truly, if you know I am like this kind of person, you probably hate me or something. Saturday I woke up early up in the morning like 8 in the morning to prepare to go to Chinese school. I woke earlier so I could wash my hair and be fresh in the morning. Later, I drove to school with mom next to me and grandma in the backseat. Chinese school was like 3 hours long and as usual I always forgot something. Last time, I forgot a pencil and the other time I forgot my book. This time, I accidentally took the wrong Chinese homework book to school. Really funny isn't. Also Lingle, a Chinese class mate which was missing for couple of classes, came back to class and it surprised me because I thought he left and wouldn't come back. But it wasn't all that exciting to see him. When he came back, it didn't really matter, I just thought it was surprising. After Chinese school, mom came to pick me up and let me drive to P2K to have a haircut. Not to mention, my hair hasn't been cut for 7 months, think about how my hair would have been. All long and puffy like massive of hair around your face. I went in the salon and waited for my turn. While I was waiting I saw Japanese hair style magazine. It was compiled of wavy hair styles, I guess it was part of the style this year. Anyway, it was my turn, I told him to give me the same hair style and cut my hair 2 inches shorter. So, he did but he didn't layered it but instead he cut the back part straight. This time he didn't cut as much as last time but he did thinned it. I end up liking it because I was light again and it has a style. Next, we went to home and continue the day at home practicing Chinese and surfing the net. At night I asked for my mom to fixed my pimples and check my toe. My toe was hurting the past few weeks. I tried to put the cream on it but it didn't help. It hurt really badly. (Read my past journals about my toe infections). This night was the most awful night I ever had and no pain I felt this bad before. My mind was screaming for help and every second the pain hurts as if I could die with last thoughts of Mr. Snob. My mom glanced and patted it with alcohol on my toe. It hurt with just one touch. She started cutting the nails first. *hurts* Then she start to cut inner of it. I was dying! already. Apparently if you didn't know my nails grow out in a wierd way. The side of the nail grows in a curves direction to the left. Mom was trying to cut that part of the nail which was already under my skin. The pain was unbearable. I didn't want to see it because I knew it would only hurt more. So I laid on my back. I was stiff, couldn't relax my muscles and I started sweating like crazy. I took a deep breath and hold it every time she was trying to cut my nail. My face turned red and I felt really hot. Mom paused and turn on the fan for me in order to keep me from dying there. haha~ no funny when it really happened. If I didn't get it over it, it would be more painful later. I felt as if she was pushing my toe meat (don't know what it called) to the left and left the nail with another scissor and cutting. Pain, pain, and more pain. Undescribable. It felt as if a knife was cutting me into pieces. I started crying. Moments after she tried to get the sharp nail off, suddenly felt another hard pull and the next touch on my skin was easier. It was finally done. No more pain she said. I immediately relaxed and laid there for a couple minutes to let the fan blow on my sweaty skin. It felt cool and relieved. I didn't move my toe because it was bleeding a little. I could walk after my nervous system were calm again. Mom showed me the sharp evil nail that was hurting beneath my skin. it was about half a centimeters long and it was pointy. ahhh I took it and threw it in the trash. The most painful experience I ever had. It was worser than falling off the bike and on the rocks and different than putting alcohol on your injuries. This pain was different. This is what was called pain. The pain that wasn't from the struggling heart of mine. But the pain through our body, the pain that many other people in the hospital felt where there isn't any pain-killers. Even thought it was only for a while, I thought (after pulling it out) Sunday The day has finally come. The day I go to the library and see Mr. Snob for the last time. So I went to the library at 12:00p.m. and helping with the story room decorations. I saw Rebecca, Angela, and my supervisor, Taleya preparing decorations for Tuesday Lemon event, which I dont' remember. I couldn't go to the event because I have to work on that day. So all I could do that day was to climb up and down the ladder to hang the decorations. It was painful because first we used a chair and later we realized it wasn't tall enough. So, we got a ladder to climb. Next the decoration didn't stay up there and kept falling down until we finally used stables to take it apart. Next the tunnel for the kids decoration kept falling since the tape wouldn't work and the staples are falling off. Danger for the children and ended up taking it out I guess. Next I helped Marshall setting for her kids room event, which was quite simple (just cutting some strings and laying out the items for the activity. Next Taleya had another thing for to do was to cut out the pictures and sticking so the kids could make a necklace out of it. So, Angela and I did that until 3. The time came I waited for a Snob appearance. I was nervous so I went through the back door and walked around the building and I realized it was sprinkling. So I walked around the bushes and to the front. Then I called my mom a few times and she didn't answer it. So, I thought she might be busy liked last time and went inside. But this time I went in I walked behind the shelves as I was hiding from someone. But I glanced between the shelves so maybe Snob can't see me (stalking). Guess what I couldn't see him and find him because he is not there. I thought maybe I quit and my eyes did not kept looking for him because I was scared. I didn't want him to know I was searching for him. All of the sudden my body didn't react as I wanted to. I wanted to look for Snob. But the other side of me didn't move. It just continue to walk as if it didn't really matter to me. What was wrong with me? was I scared? afraid to see him? don't want to hurt myself to see him for the last time? what is it? Until, today I still don't know and wonder if I will regret it. Maybe I will, or forget about him. Who knows? But I ended not seeing him. Since mom came at 3:20 to come pick me up. I went home ate and slept. I was so tired that day and I didn't want to think about anything or do anything anymore. But at night my gave me a phone call to help her old friend to find a casino job because she was under a medical condition and couldn't work. She really need her job. Of course she came over to may house and I didn't mind helping her at 10:40 something p.m. Not until like 2:30 something when I finally finished helping and teaching how to use her new email account I made for her. But later I couldn't sleep until 3:00. Monday Today was the day when Cess and I planned to go to the movies with young, her and I. I started out my house at 10:11 a.m. like I supposed to. Reach the bus and I realized I forgot my change. I gave 2 dollars away and the bus at my 75 cents. Ride the bus and saw Young at the bus stop and told her to get in her. But she was um waiting for Cess, so i came out of the bus and waited for her. So we talked about Cess being late and my money! xD~ 75 cent.... Then I saw Cess running and luckily we all got in the bus ;D...... and went to the Orleans and watched Wall-e then snucked into Hellboy II... awesome movies <3 it all~ nice choices from Cess. Then Young have to leave, then Cess and I found our way to Fashion show mall after a couple of walks and bus switching. Sadly the map I printed out was incorrect or the computer was incorrect >.> we were late behind our schedule. Shop the mall for 3 hours. Things were so expensive. But I bought a shirt and pants picked by Cess XD~ awesome clothing <3 it.... haha But I suck I wasted money on it. We went to Pensun? Saniro? Journals? Hollister? A&F? Hot Topic? Food Court? Starbucks? Skectcher? some other stores.... I forgot. We only took a glance around because man the things were so expensive. arrr~ expensive I tell you...... mamma mia. Took pictures around places. I was having fun and tired and didn't talked much hahah~~~~ concentrating around the place I was going............i was an idiot and asked Cess to ride with me half way home. xD I felt so bad because she could of just ride one bus and got home to do her homework. She is so nice <3 xDD~~~ I an not use to riding bus and afraid I would get in a wrong bus and die~~~ hahah jk..... about the die part....ok.... rushing... Grandma said I shouldn't have done bought when i got home from the long ride bus.kk... and she told me the tv. is broken and i fixed it and she was happy with excitement becasue she couldn't watch t.v. since 4 and was going crazy at home with no t.v. *being crazy* ahhaha abouttooo and i talked to her and watch and cleaned myself....kkkkkk late at night now. Writing such a long journal. Enough I guess..... BYE!

He is leaving.... he really is [18 Jul 2008|12:11pm] [ mood | pensive ] I woke up like every other morning. My room was warn and my throat hurts. The sound of the bugs buzzing outside on the tree loud. I looked at the clock and it was already 11:47 a.m. As I stood up, my head felt heavy and my stomach was empty. I grabbed my glasses to put it on and walked outside. I fixed myself in the restroom and went downstairs to great my grandmother who was in the kitchen preparing lunch for me. Mom was still sleeping since she came home at 7 in the morning. She was probably really tired. As usual I went upstairs and go on my computer. My automatic site I went to is myspace.COM. Really many people go on it, but for me it became a habit. I quickly log back off. But for some reason today, I check the The library website and went directly to the employment center. First, I saw Page position open until July 21, 2008 and under to more spaces said another Page position open until July 27,2008. I clicked on the first one and stared at Spring Valley Libary ,Jones. My heart ache and struggled. In my heart and mind, I only one thing. The only part of me knows that is the only answer. He was leaving. I thought of other reason but I couldn't think of any. Who else could it be. Mr. Snob was leaving. He is really truly leaving. I mean he has to go to University of California, Irvine. I thought if for a few minutes and couldn't think of any excuses. It was the end. I must go to the library and meet him for the last time to say good-bye. Although the phrase "good-bye" means to see you again. But I don't know if I will have a chance to see him again unless I go to the same university as him. I was blanked. "good-bye"

Burger King [17 Jul 2008|11:15am] [ mood | tired ] Yesterday was a bright and happy day until I went to work and saw who I was working with. The name "Angela" on the paper gave a chill behind me back. I can't believe it, I am working with her again. I was hoping to work with my manager in the front. But sadly, she is going to work with me. How sad is it? I just realized when I got back home she was picking me at work. Thinking back with all the time I worked at Burger King, she was the most who made comments on what I had done and nothing else. I hated her because she would go check how I did as if she WAS the MANAGER. My mananager really didn't say a lot like she did. I mean please LEAVE me alone. _______________ I walked out of the car and starred at the building Burger King. I stared at the sign read, " Spicy Chicken .99 cents" The day was cloudy and and bright when light passes the clouds. I walked in through the double doors and walk to my right and into another door and turned my right immediately and next to my right immediately to put my purse away in order to go wash hands. I looked around and everyone was working like always, making there food and putting them in the paper bags. I went to greet my managers and co-workers. I was hoping it would be my favorite manager, but she wasn't there, instead another manager who had a serious face written all over her. I looked around, but she wasn't there. Burger King is a small place actually, where we work. Not as big as we expected to be. I work at the front counter and the lobby. next to the counter was the driver through, which was only few feets away. Near to my left not to far than the drive thru was the small area to expedite the food. In front on that, is where they make all the food. Beyond them all the day in was the refrigerator. Next to it was the driver thru door one. All the way to the corner of the store is the storage, where all the dry items are. (I am not really good at explaining things. But it is how i can explain it.) I went outside to the lobby by the door near the counter, so I could clean the area where people get there drinks and etc. It was a big mess, I hate how people make such a big mess and don't even bother being careful, making me do all the work. There were a couple of customers who were already eating there food and ignoring my existence. I finished organized the area and brooming the area, including picking up the trays left on the top of the trash cans. A sound was made behind me where the double doors were and I saw Angela fixing her hair before entering in to the counter. This is great and hope this day would be alright with her here. _____________________ The day continued as usual and I would do all the cleaning and suddenly the general manager came in and started working at the front counter with us. It scared me because he was yelling at the kitchen night crew. It was the first time I ever saw him so serious. It startled me. She was also working in a such a great speed. I didn't bother entering his work space and went to the lobby to clean and broom. I asked for a break after 3 hours later. I got my break and it was slow a little and then the manager started talking with the crew. I just remembered there was also a new co=worker. ah... he was the one who submitted an application to work here. *no duh*

Previews [16 Jul 2008|01:38pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | none ] After few days later, I had to take the SAT, which I wasn't prepared for. Since, I had to work at Burger King. I know I finally got a job and it is so boring. I only earned 6.85 dollars per hour and I work 7 hours a day, sometimes without a break because we are short in hand.

The Past The Summer [16 Jul 2008|01:36pm] [ mood | awake ] [ music | None ] All I can say is that I haven't been writing in the journal like I was suppose to. I think it has been 3 months since i wrote in this journal. It is a my world record on livejournal. School ended like weeks ago. I remember the last day of school was the best day ever and also the saddest day as well. I could remember it as if it was just yesterday. The room was much quieter compared to my other days in this classroom. Today was the last of being in this Junior Studies class and I would begin my summer break when the bell rings. Students chattering quietly and Jessica was next to me doing something that I was unawared of. I turned and glanced at her, she was packing herself and talking with other classmates. She was the kindest person i met in this school. A moment ago she was just helping her science teacher's packing to migrate to another room. Really, I am impressed of her. While everyone gives there last good-byes, I remember I had to speak with my counselor about my schedule. There were a lot of problems with it. First, AP Calculus and Ap Studio Art are during the same period and I decided to take AP calculus instead of art. I was frustrated, not until I started to complaining in front of Cess on msn messenger a few days ago. Secondly, I had to pick an elective, but sadly I randomly picked photography and decided to changed into something else. Finally, with all the struggling, my art teacher told me I could be his student aide and I could do whatever I want in his class, which means drawing and digital art. It was a great idea, for an drawer like me, it was the best thing ever. After I asked my teacher, Ms. Sanders, letting me go the counselor in order to fix my schedule. I walked out the door and feel the breeze of summer coming. Unluckily, the bell rang and I kept walking back and forth to my art teacher to get the form signed to be his student aide. But it was settled and I couldn't wait until school starts again. _____________________ Schedule of 2008-2009 AP Calculus Math 127 U.S. Government H English Literature H World Literature H Painting I Student Aide (photography) One Open Period Online Course - American Literature H _____________________ My cell phone vibrated and I realized it was Cess and i hurried myself to talk about the great news. But, I would ask her where she was and she would ask where I was. Since, the school bell rang, we all search for each other to say good-bye. But instead she hurried and said that they *my friends* were going to the movies. I jumped with great happiness that I couldn't control. The long discussions and pictures took the time. We all started to walked to the public bus stop to get a ride to the Orleans. Guian, the amazing independent person, leaded our way to the Orleans to watch a movie. We stopped by Jack in the Box to borrow there restroom for minute or so. The restroom was small with only two stalls and one mirror with a sink. There were a couple of girls already and imagine Cess, Soo, and me instead as well. It was crowded. Out we went through the doors and you could see Guian with his friend waiting for us under the hot sunny day. We waited and waited for the bus. "Oh the bus," I yelled. The bus came to a stop in front on us. I prepared my student ID and princess gathered the money to pay for the tickets. I took a step on the bus for the first time. I walked up and I could see the bus driver. I slided the ticket and apparently, it wasn't working so he gave me a new one. I entered and my eyes wont' stop looking. The seats were blue with red and dark blue squares. There were poles to hold on to and seats high than others. The center of the bus can contract and bend, while the seats could turn. I took a seat next the Guian's friend and start our journey to the Orleans. It was hot and one bus after another we finally reached the Orleans. The place is smoky as ever and there are people gambling or waiting in line for there seats for lunch. We went upstairs and first we saw the arcaded with excitement of children shouting with laughters. To our right, we saw the line for watching the movie and tried to decide which movie to watch. In the ended, we decided to watch Iron Man because so young didn't want to watch any horror or sexual movies like guian and his friend wanted. But for me, I didn't really care and Princess, ahhh I don't know. We got the tickets and a nice chubby old man gave us free tickets to buy popcorn and we did get it for free. They we start our adventures in the dark gloomy seats and quiet theater. We waited and the movie quietly started while we ate our popcorn.

Lots of things.... [16 Mar 2008|03:06pm] Actually more things happen these 3 weeks. lol.... Lots I mean... I change my mind of getting an honors diploma which kills me the last year of high school. I plan to takes these classes next year (below) because as I realize I don't want to fail during my senior year. So I ma take, Ap Studio Art U.S. Government H English Literature H World Literature H AP Biology / Ap Physics (if I can get an A) AP Statistics / AP calculus (if I get an A or B) Extended Math Lab (if I am taking cal or i need in help in math) Extended Science Lab ALSO, I am planning to take an online course American Literature H because I need it for getting an Honors diploma xDD..... so yea! good luck to me next year... As well I had an interview like 3 weeks ago at the library. Since, last week I got an rejection letter from the library, I am not going to work. But mom says i should work over the summer and gain experience. Also.... I forgot to ask for a transcript from my couselor and forgot to ask the registrar to sign it. So, I can't take the driving test. >.> But I am going to call tommorrow and see if I can still take the test @>@ So yea~~~~~ Also, the most updated things is that yesterday Princess came over to my house and had lots of fun... Great beginning of Spring Break. We sang a few songs and I was actually really bad it, but somehow improved I guess. Next I gave her a haircut and gladly she liked it. I didn't know I can cut other people hair besides my own. xD I am so amazed about myself. She liked it and I was glad. It took like 2-3 hours to cut it since she has lots and lots of hair. >,< I thought it would turn out bad. haha~ I am saved. Next, we played with her guitar she brought over and wow wasn't it fun. I want to play guitar~ But it your fingers though. But it make pretty sounds xDD!!! Then we danced because she wanted to know some dance moved and told what she might learn in dance 2 because I took dance in 7th grade. haha and she left >.> THE END TO THAT Next, news!! I failed the most easiest Precal test in the world. I mean it is algebra too stuff and I thought I did well because I did well on the textbook. I don't know what i did wrong. I will be so embarrassed when I go back to school again. I mean rawr.... I hate myself. That is why I might take Stats because I keep doing stupid mistakes and I need lots of help you know...!!!rawr I am going to study this break like yea~ I am insane. Next news is..... hmmm speaking of which... I haven't seen mr. snob for about hmmm since tuesday of last week. It would be 1 2 3 4!! FIVE DAYS I haven't seen him for five days. Maybe he saw me at the library. But I didn't see him. So yea`~~ I am a sucker and totally suck.... I trying to get over him. So yea..... trying my hardest. But it makes me think more about him. So, i am occupying myself more things to do and study hard and gett a better grade in math and science.. hahah yea..... Bye bye snob!!! next news would be um.... my grandma is going to china and so i will see her in antoher 4 weeks and she is leaving tonight. I can't wait if she can buy me some good clothes... Since I am going to be a SENIOR NEXT YEAR.... I don;t want people thinking of me as a freshman shorty ahah............ ok i cant think of anything to write... I will post an essay though hahhaha.... next to let you help me on writing for the profiency... BYE BYE1111

Alive [22 Feb 2008|04:35pm] Nothing is worser than not studying. I mean these weeks, which seems like years are just terrible and filled with worse desires. I been struggling with Physics and Precal. I am so stupid and I know I didn't get an A on the test today. Darn! Guess, what I realize Mr. Snobby I been talking over the past half year; he has physics AP and Calculus Ap. So, darn smart. I feel so far away from. This feeling insides is unexplained. I mean, I see him less and lesser. I feel like the fortune telling that i read from the site was all fake. Nothing seems to be going like it said. It makes me sad. I admit I am being emotional and I will be fine by tomorrow. I have lots of things to do and what to do. I am also so confused with what I am suppose to decide for my next years senior classes. Studio Art AP AP Math Lab Calculus AP U.S. Government H Painting I World Literature H _____________ _____________ and two free open spaces. Since most of my friends said it is better to take full classes during your senior year, which I don't know. I guess I should. But what should I take? hmm... maybe word processing II won't be bad or maybe ummmm............. student aide would be good right! I can do my homework in those classes I mean. Maybe I can even take commercial design too. I have no I idea. Speaking about education. I might be a job at the library soon!! Yay for me >.> being a page. I am going to be an interview on Thursday at 4:00 pm O.O mom will be so tired!!! Since she has switched the time of working and don't ask........ WE ARE POOR >.>;;; I don't anyone knows but my mom is the only one supports the family. Since, my parents are divorced you know. ahhhh it is getting late on Friday! I have to go do my homework. OH yea before I go I went to Bible Club yesterday since NHS was canceled DARN!!! and We ran half way to the bus and stopped because it would be stupid and just like... stayed for Bible and woreshipped O.O.... sh..... Praying was kind of different for us... so it is new to me. So I wouldn't say anything stupid because I do believe half of God! But I really like the songs they sing! Including the dude that like played the guitar and sang *,* senior president i think. hahah~ ...... >.> anyway.... it is life. BYEBYE!!!

Back@!!! [20 Jan 2008|05:22pm] Well, what did you know? I am back on livejournal like after 3 weeks. There isn't much going on and I was lazy to type. Yep, sure I was busy with exams and it is over and today is um Sunday. Yes, and tommorrow there is no school. Everyday is the same as usual and nothing is different. I feel so bored and I finally was able to write something. But not much people read this. But, I write for those who read. haha... thanks for reading Seriously, I don't know what to write. Besides, the only thing is Mr. Snob or Snobby. I tried giving him up but I guess I just couldn't. Rawr~ I didn't say hi or bye to him and this is like getting now where. I guess this is going to be like others. Others meaning nothing with happen like the others I like 3-4 years ago. Nothing will happen dude! I think the outcome would be the same. There is not movement of where I started. I am still in the beginning. @.@ I was so scared he had a car and didn't ride the bus because the past half a year, he seems to be moving farther and farther away from me. T^T! which is a bad right? no duh! Of course it is. I haven't seen him much before my class started, haven't seen him going to the bus much. Besides, what is the point really? I am starting not to believe the fortune telling website down to erm 10% from 90%. It says something amazing romance will happen to me. But darn, it ain't happening. I have no courage in myself. SO yea~ I am tired of this. Now, I am leaving, Bye!

Winter Break!! [24 Dec 2007|04:38pm] [ mood | full ] Yay... Winter Break is here already. I am so bored to death. I am totally serious. But I get to wake up late without any worries. I don't even have to go to chinese school because it is break as well. It has seem I haven't wrote for 2 weeks. I forgot what happened too. OH yes.... I remembered. I had a surgery on my toe on um... wednesday because it doesn't seem to be healing.... and it was the second one. I can remember the last one was this year in january or something. But it has been over a half year. Yep half year. Yep, I am walk good know. I seems that last year they took 1/3 of my nail out of one side and a little on the other. So when it was growing, it grew in a different direction.... so it like slanted and into my meet as it grew longer i mean. Yep.... very very ouch! and they took it out and it feels much better. Yosh!! xD way better. I and i have to wait for another 3 weeks for it to heal, which means I am stuck wearing my ugly sandals. xD gawwwwwwwwwr But anyway i hope it will hurry up and heal faster xD. Anyway, I am blessed with friends and family. I am so happy about it dunno i am just so emo. Many unbelievable things happen to me and that includes err bad events. I failed my precal. test omg and it was suppose to be super easy i mean it was only algebra and slope. I dunno why but i failed on Thursday. I thought I did pretty I dunno what I could've have done wrong. Maybe the teacher posted it wrong on the intouch. I hope it was true. xD darn....... Yes, let's get to Mr. Snob! Well, I don't really care about him much anymore. I think he fading away I mean there isn't any going to happen. Besides hi and bye and blah blah. But 2 weeks ago, at the library the day I work. We finally get to talk a little. I mean seriously how amazing *not* right? Well, I said some simple things like what grades and stuff, which i already know these things. But he does know that i am NIkky's cousin. But I think he prefer my cousin since he know her much longer than I do. I wonder how there conversation went. I mean.... I think I am jealous. She seems so different than me. I am like rough and she seems so gentle. gawr oh whatever. Ekkks... xD All I can think is I want a new cell phone. I want the sony ericson one xD because it look pretty. But I should be happy what I have. But I need to think of something I want for Christmas and I still haven't thought about it. Hmm......... I wasted all my money for present and now I am left with a fifty dollar gift from mom and I wonder what my dad *real one* will give me. But I don't think he would give me anything special because he is a super cheap dad you will ever know. Yea................................ Today, I just finished making a lot of dumpling and I like really full right now. xD so full it is grandma's fault because she makes the meat so good and taste. ballllllhhhh..... yummmy and now i am so tired and I can't feel my hand >.> Sorry, this journal is like hopping with different subjects. xD yep because I just had so many different things to write about. xD yep yep yep. Well I have to go. Later for more reading. I am thankful for the ones that read. Thank you so much I appreciate it very much. Bye!

Lazy~ [16 Dec 2007|06:05pm] [ mood | lazy ] [ music | n/a ] Ah... I am so lazy so I am not going to write. haha xD lazy......

Occupied Week with Adventures [07 Dec 2007|03:51pm] [ mood | headache ] [ music | Antic Cafe ] It has only been four days since, I posted a journal. But, I am posting anyway. I usually post once a week. But there are just to many exciting things that happen and there is bad things too that happen. la~ Yeps, first! The thing that I remembered the most is that I got sick, for 4 days, including the days that i started to get sick, lol. I am fully kind a recovered. I just have headaches. :D yep. Monday~ Well, if could remember what happen on this day. um~ It's a typical day so nothing major happen. Tuesday~ I thought there was Japanese club but there weren't so haha~ nothing special on a day like that xD. Wednesday~ Errrr~ oh yea! There was key club picture taking on that day and green club. I just join on that day because japanese club is like dead now. So boring~ and really dead.... I am really disappointed about that. Also, on the same day. I invited my friend over to do our Physics Project. We actually finished it within like 6-7 hours lol. I was really sick on that day because I was like daydreaming with my head aching xD... It turned out pretty good without flash.. Flash is so confusing for a beginner like me and it is so slow~ gawr it is so slow. I also stayed up to !:30 at night to study my math and I ended up having a 81% on it. xD i hate it so much.......... I almost failed. Really. Now, I am an 81 in precal..~ I am so dum..... T^T I hate my scores. I want an A man!!! But anyway I LOVE MY PHYSICS VIDEO!!! Thursday~ I am truly getting sick.................................................................................. had another fever...................................................................................... darn and slept 2 hours when i got home. Also, I saw mr. snob in NHS but didn't say hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii darn....... i just saw him kind of tripped..... :P lol i thought it was funny because he wasn't paying attention to where he was going because usually he is so stiff and like organized or pay attention to where he was going. xD Friday~ TODAY~ Another typical day until! xD MR. SNOB said HI to me at the locker. xD he said it HI~~~~ xD because I didn't say hi first this time. I just took a glance at him lol. erm yea la~ I know i am a super idiot. I am so weird aren't I. Getting so excited for such little thing @.@ But I saw him after school at the NHS meeting and picture taking @.@ and I saw him and I didn't say Hi!!! I am so not nice ^%(&(&*^(&*^%^&*^ I Hate myself..... But I kind of smiled err..... yea I am super weird.. But anyway it was super cold today. Freezing my little butt up and etc. But I have a puffy jacket so I am fine until the end of the day while taking pictures. It was so cold and little drops of water started to pour down. lol and yea~ we were wearing NHS t-shirts waiting for the photo to be taken. lol ;P THE END................................. before that I have a C in physics... dooomed and B in math doooommmm and a B in History doooommmmm...........................................

Winter........means cold~ [02 Dec 2007|06:34pm] [ mood | busy ] [ music | N/A ] Hah! I am back again. How are all of you? xD This week was so long and again tommorrow is Monday. Days go by so quick and I still haven't prepare for my test tomorrow for physics. I need to study badly. I also need to finish my art project. Still isn't finish. >.> darn. The week is so boring. >.> I al. I have so many things to do >.> darn and I have to do the physics project. gawww I am so occupied. But, I am so lazy to do it. Hah..... Yea, yea well my grandma changed the time and did the surgery on Monday on one of the eye. So, the other eye will be done in another month. So, the other eye can rest in peace. xD She can finally see things super clear. It is so white, she said. xD yep yep. *to lazy to write proper english and punctuation*. Anyway that is that. There isn't much to talk about and about Mr. Snob. I think I got over him. Ha xD. Well, I didn't talk much or said hi to him until today at the library. We just shorted paper. xD cleaning the library storage. xD it is very messy. Yep messy. Also, i we helped each other on where to put the wrong books at. xD kawaii.... heh >.>  Yep and I was able to be cool and said see ya and he said see ya as well. xD i always said bye, erm i meant also not always .*this went first* :P watever... I stay cool being his workmate and friend :D... I was able to get another friend to stay so I won't be stuck with Mr. Snob. Also, I saw my twin she was at the PAP meeting whatever it is. The people that work at the library are able to go. Duh!!! Yea, they get to eat chips, candy, chocolate, and pizza. xD I am so jealous that they get to eat those kinds of things in a meeting. So jealous~ so lucky~.... But it isn't healthy for you, so haha xD your unhealthy. :P I win!!! ^^V yea. Oh yea, I did say hi to Mr. Snob before I said hi to him on Thursday on NHS xD and he is like HI in a deep LOW voice. xD baka. and that is about it. >.< I had chinese school, @.@ you don't believe it I didn't study it for weeks. I am wasting money alright. I need to get practicing here young lady!!! *talking to myself* But But, I have to so much other things to do. darn it. Well well what do you know xD i am being lazy. bleh xD feel the blehness. Ah ha.... I bought new shoes xD but it hurts because the shoe is to big. Because my toe is fat. >.> darn I bought slippers too xD hahahah.... I bought yarn today xD blue one. xD maybe i can make a scarf for snob. haha .... guess... NOOOOO!!! WAY!!!!!! I making it for myself or family. My favority color is blue~ me keep it myself. :P haha... Besides I have no time for that but I bought it anyway. Secondly, he might think I really like him like crazy and think I am a stupid wierdo that just gave him a scarf for christmas and confess to him. Um... uhhhh... That is just crazy. :P I been watching a drama called Romantic Princess. xD nehheheh if you want to know just look it up. I am so lazy to write a summary of it. I am not done with the chinese drama anyway. xD Farenheit is in it. I spelled it wrong so xD haha w/e.... I must get going... I have more to write, but I will stop here....... Laters..... more hw >.> anyway Bai~~~~~ HAPPY DAYS TO ALL!!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL!!! [22 Nov 2007|10:38pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | Angela - Pandora ] Yes, today is the day of fun for me. hehe First is First..... writing it like note format *kind ah* Today, I woke up at 8 in the morning to go out to practice driving. xD I can't believe myself. I actually drove all the way to DMV to places and came back home safely. I can't believe i forgot how to parallel park. It took a few times before I remember how to do it. Darn, but i got it back into my now, I am so glad. Then I came home after two hours ate and help setting up for the Thanksgiving bbq. Yay!!! And my dear friend came over and started to help me make SUSHI!!!! yes SUSHI!!!! Later my other friends came and all they do is help on eating. xD jacked the foods and didn't help me like my other friend. *cough cough* After we finally finished making sushi we finally get to eat. Then played ddr and guitar hero :D. Next upstairs watching the computer to many funny shows xD *laughing our butts out or maybe it was just me* neheeheh and then one by one they left. Only my friend that helped me make sushi stayed until like 7 or 8. xD I thought that my mom would let me go to BlackFriday but nooooooooo~ she says that a small midget like me will get squished and injured with a bunch or people around. SO~ i can't get a cheap Nintendo Ds with Pokemon Diamond. I want a DS a DS i say!!! darn it.... Mad me sad~~~~~ Gawr darn that..... Ok that is over with...... about today and i a super tired including the coldness of my hands typing every single word here you are reading. GOT THAT!!! Next.........................................THE EMONESS *WARNING* I saw my cousin and she is pretty and she know Mr. Snob for sure because last year she talked to him and stuff freely. Darn it my cousin is prettier than me and >.> more gentle than me and and more mature than me. T^T gaw and he might prefer her instead of me!...... >.> and yea.........i KNOW I AM EMO BECAUSE I AM~~~~ haha emo emo emo. >.> gosh darn it..... I am so rough, not gentle at all failing my classes and short term memory, who would want a crazy girl like me. >..< so no kewl.... watever ....... *scratches head* But I did say hi to him at the library and on Monday I said Hi at the locker but he probably think that i am an ugly weird freak that pop out of nowhere. Seriously, I was planning to actually really to talk to him on Tuesday but noooooooo~ Card Making was canceled again because the teacher had gone missing >.> and the doors were lock and japanese club was like bs. Afterwards........................ I realize I kept talking about Mr. Snob but now the different topic. My grandma is having an eye surgery for old people. I forgot what it was called. But my mom told me that old people usually have it. They start growing something gray and then grows darker and bigger on the layer of there eye. So they can't see so clearly. yep so they have to take it out, tommorrow. So I have to help a lot. Must be busy need lots of rest for her. Yep or else it won't turn out good. Hope she be alright. Mom says it not a big of deal. Yep, it is a four day weekend. Tommorrow and the next and after that...... what should i do. hm... my mom would probably give me something to do.... OMG my hands are super cold. No more typing for me. I am so cold like below 0 degrees I am so serious. Winter in LAS VEGAS is so COLD!!!!. Well, that is all for today. See ya and stay tone. Photo by the way...... unrelated thing. Love An Cafe OK!!!!

Dept of Darkness and a ray of Light [13 Nov 2007|05:53pm] [ mood | sympathetic ] [ music | Alice Nine - Lemon ] Upon your eyes as a little child, with defense of family. Until you wings are free and fly to a path chosen by your hand. You travel with you new wings and enter the world you never entered. The hatred and sacrifice. Many doors to go to. Many people who you ever met. Many kinds of people who can take you to a wrong path that which you will regret. Many unseen things and ideas. Feeling of the power where you can be tricked and never turn around again. Over turned by people. The sorrow of your heart and pain through your veins throughout your body. The feeling that will not disappear with a glance. Walking up the steps one by one. You can no longer see the path upon you. Crouch in the world of your dreams. Crying over for help Asking for someone to save you as you reject offers of people. Searching and searching, you find nothing but just one hole. The hole which awaits you. One speck of hole. Running and running towards it. With the pain and stress pulling over you. You reach your hands. Just your hand passes through later each second. You feel the relief of the bright light from the sky. The feeling of happiness and family holding on to you. Giving hope to yourself as you glance in the blue sky. Yelling and yelling out the calls of love. The precious moments and moments you can yet create. Don't just cry over the things you did wrong in the past. Take a new path and follow the path you want. -Paulina Z.

Chances....take it or else regrets kicks in [11 Nov 2007|07:12pm] [ mood | thirsty ] [ music | Arashi - Happiness ]         Woot Woot!! four day weekend is here and half way over too. Life is just so weird to me. I dunno it just... Anyway, today I moved everything around my room and the living room because my mom want my own work area so I can concentrate because the room is to small. So i just moved my computer to the living and that took 4 hours >.> not for the plugs on the computer. It is the evil cable cord that is in my room. It goes through my wall and out to the living room which is through my closet as well. So I need to take it out of the hole that and it won't get through. So, probably you can imagine me me trying to get it out >.> with my grandpa. My room is like a piece of crap because I took everything out of my closet to take out the cable cord out. and the living room upstairs is like crap as well. I am so lazy to pick it up because i have to the bookshelf and another desk. So, it is kind of remodeling a little. yep yep... Today, the library is closed because tomorrow is Veteren's Day. I was planning to say hi to that one person I see everywhere if you read the last journal entry. Yes, this whole week I was annoyed with it. So, I planned to say to him and every time I want to say hi, there was never a chance. I mean really, it really sucked. On Tuesday, I wanted to say hi but there was no card making after school for some sort of reason. So, moved the card making on Wednesday and I didn't say hi because there are to many people and it would sound weird to say hi out of no where and not knowing who the person is. haha So, I wanted to say hi on Thursday for sure but NHS meeting for juniors only in another room and didn't see him. And card making was canceled because there freaking paper rapists took em all and hogged it. >.> yes yes evil things/ people. So, there is no chances. So, today is Sunday and I thought the library would be open so I can go to work for volunteering and maybe I can say hi for him sure because there isn't a lof of people. But guess what? it is closed today for Veteren's Day tomorrow. Gosh!!! I didn't get a chance at all...... But the 2 weeks before I kept bumping into him or saw him everywhere. Now, I think he is like trying to ignore that to happen and staying away from me to say hi >.> and i was being snob at first place. Gawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww........ it annoys me and I think the chance of meeting him is so low now. I missed the good chances and now i am regretting. It is a really a weird thing.                                            I saw him before, since my freshman year. He was in my bus and then. I met him with some of my chinese friends. I think they introduced them to me but I left there little gang to another because it was basically all boys and 3 girls that are us... So not me >.>                                            Then last year he was in my bus as well for the whole year and my cousin knows him as well. He seem a little strance.                                             This year there was a chinese girl but somehow disappeared coming to the bus and I made a wish that I want to meet them both. But now.... hahaaahh... it's over.  IT ALL OVER............. me ish in lala land...................................... Basically this whole journal is about this person and every time I am alone, he goes in my head >.< heh heh! OH YEA ANOTHER THING >.> THAT IS ALSO FREAKING ME OUT AND I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT UNTIL IT IS VERY CURIOUS TO ME. Really, I have physics H. haha Yea, on the second week or school or so we have assigned seats and I planned to meet more people and not being shy. So, I said met a new friend that sits next to me. He is easy to communicate with and shook hands on the day we met as in a introductions. Somehow or many my other good buddy was there I was hyper with the lab or what so ever. >.> He ask weird question like every other day of week. Are you going to the prom? Do you think I am tall and good? The girl I like makes me hyper? The teacher is wearing purple ewww... what color do you like guys to wear? What is your myspace? Do you like the shirt I am wearing. and he is showing off he things >.> . Alll... I am doing is haha ignoring him xD with I don't know answer... haha ack... homework to do and I have to clean and driving lesson >.> yay drive i am actually on the road and it is O.O amazing for me. T^T The END~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ for me >..<

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